A true teacher doesn't give you answers.

A true teacher

sees the part of you that you're not yet able to see yourself.

The Day I Told John Pierrakos I Didn't Have a Shadow side/Lower Self

"Sometimes the teacher who changes your life is the one who quietly smiles when you are "absolutely certain" you're right."

There are moments in our lives that quietly divide everything into before and after.

This was one of mine. I still remember my very first Core Energetics training with Dr. John Pierrakos. M.D. I was excited. Curious. Eager to learn. John had a way of inviting students to the front of the room, one by one. There was no humiliation in it. There was simply an invitation to be seen—not just by him, but by ourselves. That day, it was my turn.

John began talking with me about the foundations of Core Energetics: the Mask, the Lower Self, the Higher Self, and the Core. Then he asked me a question about my Lower Self.

Without hesitation, I answered,

"I don't have a Lower Self."

I wasn't trying to impress anyone. I wasn't being defensive.

I truly believed it.

The room became absolutely silent.

You could have heard a pin drop.

John looked at me with a gentle smile.

Not the smile of someone amused.

The smile of someone who could already see the journey that lay ahead of me.

It was in that moment that I knew I had found the right teacher.

Not because he confirmed what I already believed.

But because he saw what I could not yet see.

I Thought Being Spiritual Meant Being Good

Looking back now, I understand why I answered the way I did.

Like many sincere spiritual seekers, I had spent years trying to become loving.

Compassionate.

Kind.

Helpful.

Positive.

I believed spirituality meant rising above anger.

Above fear.

Above resentment.

Above selfishness.

Without realizing it, I had quietly split myself in two.

There was the version of me I believed was acceptable.

And then there were all the feelings I had carefully pushed out of awareness because I thought they didn't belong in a spiritual life.

John wasn't trying to convince me I was bad.

He was trying to help me become whole.

The Gift Hidden Inside the "No"

One of John's great teachings was that healing is not about pretending we don't have darkness.

It is about becoming honest enough to meet it.

He spoke often about the Lower Self, but not in the way many people misunderstand it today.

The Lower Self is not evil.

It is not something to hate or destroy.

It is the part of us that learned to protect ourselves.

It is where our defended life force lives.

It is where our fear lives.

Our rage.

Our grief.

Our resistance.

Our hurt.

It is the place that says,

"No."

No, I won't trust.

No, I won't let you close.

No, I won't risk being hurt again.

No, I won't open my heart.

John would often remind us that we must move through our "No" in order to discover our deeper "Yes."

That simple teaching stayed with me for the rest of my life.

Becoming Undefended

Another phrase I heard John repeat again and again was this:
"When we become undefended, the Higher Self emerges."

I didn't fully understand those words when I first heard them.

I do now. The Higher Self is not something we create. It has always been there.

It is simply hidden beneath the many ways we learned to protect ourselves.

When we no longer need those defenses...

Love naturally appears.

Compassion naturally appears.

Joy naturally appears.

Creativity naturally appears.

Not because we manufactured them.

Because they were there all along.

What John Didn't Yet Know

Years later, after decades of studying Kundalini Yoga, nervous system regulation, Somatic Healing, Sufi mysticism, and shamanic traditions, I began to recognize something that completed the picture for me. People cannot simply decide to become undefended.

The body has to know it is safe. No amount of positive thinking can convince a nervous system to let go of defenses that once ensured survival. The body must experience safety.

Only then can the defended "No" emerge honestly. Only then can it soften into a wholehearted "Yes." Only then, just as John taught, does the Higher Self naturally emerge.

This realization became one of the foundations of my own life's work.

Safety in the body allows remembrance of the soul.

When I first understood those words, I realized they were not replacing John's teaching.

They were helping me understand how his teaching becomes possible.

Root to Rise

Over the years, my work evolved into what I now call the Root to Rise Method™.

Its purpose has never been to replace the wisdom of my teachers.

It has been to carry their wisdom forward while integrating everything life has continued to teach me.

Today I describe healing as a journey through the Three Pathways of Transformation™:

The Doormat, where we learn to survive.

The Prayer Rug, where we learn to remember.

The Magic Carpet, where we begin living from embodied sovereignty.

Supporting that journey are what I call the Healing Waters™: Somatic Healing. Nervous System Regulation. Core Energetic Therapy. Kundalini Yoga. Breath. Sound. Nature.

Sufi Wisdom. Shamanic Practice. Daily Return. Each stream nourishes the same roots.

Each helps us become a little less defended. Each creates the conditions in which life remembers itself.

Looking Back

Sometimes I smile when I remember that young woman standing in front of John Pierrakos, sincerely believing she had no Shadow self/ Lower Self. She wasn't naïve. She wasn't wrong. She simply hadn't met all of herself yet. Today, I carry immense gratitude for that moment.

Because John didn't try to make me into someone different. He invited me to become more fully myself. And perhaps that is the greatest gift any teacher can offer. To lovingly see the wholeness in another person long before they are able to see it for themselves.

Thank you, John.

This article is written with deep gratitude for my teacher, Dr. John Pierrakos, whose wisdom continues to influence the Root to Rise Method™. Any evolution of these ideas reflects my own lived experience and integration over many decades and is offered in the spirit of honoring the lineage from which I learned.

Your teachings continue to flow through every class I teach, every person I meet, every book I write, and every soul I have the privilege of accompany on the journey home.

Root. Rise. Remember.